aftergloom

It has been quite a while since I last got drunk. Yesterday, I went a little over my threshold, in one of those otiose sessions I found myself frequenting for the past few weeks. Wasting about 5 solid hours. The road and ride going home was a fog, and an adventure. I notice things I usually pay hardly a smidgen of attention to. Functioning out of instinct and habit. As I sat in front of the television, I had a sense of wonder how the hell I managed to come home unscathed, though I know I was only half-close to being twisted. I was, once again, levitated. And it was a nice feeling you get if the alcohol was still running in your head. But once the alcohol goes down and spreads all over my body, I begin to feel a whole string of sick and ugly feeling. And that's the demon aftergloom I forgot to initially consider. My body felt about to split into three, taking out my mid-part so I won't feel its horrible pain. My guts wanted to throw itself up, but nothing, even just a drop, could come out. My head, a crazy carnival. A turbulent sleepless night. And I lay no blame for allowing myself to be this imbecile. I just wanted to be with the person who refreshed my perspective and made the past few weeks a breezy state. It was because of him that brought me out of my black black heart. And though he's like water out of the faucet I try to catch with my palms open, I still am grateful for knowing this one guy who's way better than the one he preceded. He was an adorable sight out of my window. I can only stare in awe, but could not let it in for a handful of reasons. And yesterday, I stayed because of him. Yesterday, I stayed so I could be beside him for what could be the last time.


...:::j u l i e:::...